Silence
by Lingua Dii
Summary: The only thing worse than being ignored is being invisible. Rated T for language.


In this story, I explore what it would be like to be Kenny when he was a background character (and still is, in some episodes). The story is written differently than the others to emphasize the psychological aspects of it. I'll leave you to explore those on your own, but feel free to ask me to confirm your interpretations.  
This story was inspired by the wrong view some people have of the "52-hertz whale", as it is known (a whale whose voice is different from every other's). Specifically, it's based on idea that it couldn't be heard by any other whale on Earth.

* * *

He sits in the back, staring at the board. He's not writing anything. The pencil he has is the only one he'll have for the whole year. He hasn't told anyone about it, but his parents' already minuscule salary was reduced even further. He told them he didn't need anything so they would spend the little money they had on his sister instead. She's just as oblivious as his parents. Every so often, he writes something down when he thinks it might be important. He's running out of space to write in, so he shortens everything. Soon enough, the sheet in front of him looks like an online chat transcript. It makes him smile. He needs as many reasons to smile as he can get.  
His teacher asks the class a question. He tries to answer it, but someone else speaks louder and his voice is drowned out. Nobody seems to have noticed he spoke. He hangs his head. His teacher continues the lesson. He's not paying attention any more. His teacher's voice becomes background noise, as do his classmates'. He abstains from a world that abstains from him. He's invisible.

* * *

Recess. He stands next to his friends, without saying a word. They talk amongst themselves. Stan complains about Wendy. Seems they broke up again. Cartman complains about the new toy Liane didn't get. Kyle berates Cartman for trying to be the center of attention. He just stands there, listening to it all. It's become so mundane, he just wants to get away. He knows he can get away if he wants to, but then he'll be alone. He wonders how that would be different from his current situation. If he leaves, nobody will notice. If he stays, nobody will notice. He's invisible.  
He glances at Butters. Butters seems to be even more nervous than usual. Butters is carrying a bunch of flyers, futilely trying to hand them out to everyone else. When Butters approaches Kyle, Stan, and Cartman, each of them is handed a flyer. Cartman immediately tells Butters to fuck off, but Kyle and Stan reach for a flyer at the same time. From what he can overhear, Butters is handing out flyers for a new amusement park. He knows he doesn't have enough money to go. Kyle says paying won't be an issue for the group. Butters seems relieved. Butters leaves to hand out more flyers.  
Kyle asks the group if they want to go after school. Stan and Cartman immediately agree, with Cartman remarking upon Kyle's generosity and how it's a betrayal of everything Kyle's people stand for. Stan punches Cartman before the end of the remark.  
Kyle turns to him, smiling warmly. He blushes underneath his hood. Kyle asks if he wants to go with them. He smiles widely. Before he can reply, Cartman interrupts the conversation. Kyle turns to Cartman. He lowers his head. He's invisible.

* * *

After school. He's following his friends, straying a few feet behind. They're talking, but he can't hear what they're saying. Meekly, he asks them if they can slow down. They don't answer him. He knows they're not intentionally ignoring him; they just can't hear him. He's invisible.  
He pulls the strings on his hood, trying to shut himself off from a world that doesn't care about him. His mind races. Would his friends notice if he was gone? Would **anyone** notice if he was gone? Even the people around him seem to ignore his presence as they walk past him, forcing him to move out of the way or crash into them. If he crashes into them, they keep walking, ignoring him entirely. By moving out of the way, he lags behind even more, running to catch up with his friends. His friends don't seem to realize he's making an effort to follow them. He's invisible.

* * *

They arrive at the amusement park. It's enough to cheer him up somewhat. After Kyle buys him some cotton candy, he makes a beeline for the bumper cars, a known favorite of his. His friends get behind him, silently awaiting their turn. The faint smell of cotton candy reaches his nostrils. He's the only one who can smell it, but he enjoys it immensely. He rarely gets any sweets unless he works hard to buy them. He knows his parents can't afford them as often as the other boys'. Thankfully, he thinks, Kyle is paying for everything.  
He glances behind him. Kyle, Stan, and Cartman; they're still there, talking. Stan seems to be the center of attention. Cartman doesn't like that. Cartman says something outrageous and everyone looks at him. He's envious of Cartman. Even though Cartman's little more than a spoiled brat, people pay attention. Cartman's not invisible. Not like he is. He faces forward again. The line is long, but they're advancing at a fast pace. He eats some cotton candy and smiles.

* * *

It's almost their turn. He turns around to thank Kyle once more. His friends aren't there. He looks for them. Nothing. He can't see them anywhere. The line continues to move. He panics. Did they leave without telling him? Why would they leave without telling him? Why would they leave at all? Was Kyle just screwing with him?  
It's finally his turn. Holding back his tears, he leaves the amusement park. The man in charge of the bumper cars doesn't try to stop him. Nobody tries to stop him. He's invisible.

* * *

He goes home. He knocks on his sister's bedroom door, hoping to talk to her. He doesn't have anything to say. He just wants to be with someone who cares about him. The door opens. It's not his sister; it's his brother. His brother tells him their sister left with some friends. He sighs and goes into his room. He lies down on his bed. It's cold. It's always cold, he thinks. Despite the cold, he usually sleeps in his underwear, or less. The other boys think he does it to act tough. In reality, he does it to save money. Everything he does is to save money, just so it can be spent on his sister's well-being and future. She's the only person who consistently shows him kindness. He loves her more than anyone else. With his face pressed into his pillow, he falls asleep.

* * *

He wakes up. He's starving. There's no smell of food. He goes down to the kitchen. Each step makes a distinct sound. Most people can't tell the difference, but he can. He can tell where someone is just by listening to the sound the floor makes. He looks around. There's no food in the kitchen. His family must have eaten it all, he thinks. They didn't save anything for him. They didn't realize he was home. He's invisible.

* * *

He's made up his mind. Nobody sees him; nobody cares about him. He's invisible. He's undesired. His very existence is an irrelevant factor in everyone else's lives. His friends abandon him, his parents and classmates ignore him. He's unloved. His whole life has been one painful event after another, and nobody ever does anything to help him. He dies, they say three sentences or brush it off with a joke. He lives, they neither notice nor care. His opinions are disregarded or simply ignored. To everyone around him, he's worthless. His pleas for help go unheard. So he goes to where every other undesired, unloved, worthless thing goes – the junkyard. Before he packs, he leaves his sister a note. He says he hopes his absence will give her a better life. He says it's not her fault he's leaving. He says not to look for him. He says he loves her more than anyone else. He says goodbye.  
Taking only a backpack with every piece of clothing he owns, a pillow, and a blanket, he makes for his sister's room one last time. He covers her as best he can. When he kisses her forehead, a few tears make their way to her face. He wipes them away, taking great care not to wake her. He leaves. In spite of the creaky floor and the front door slamming with the wind, nobody wakes up. He's invisible.

* * *

He makes a home for himself in an abandoned minivan. The cold doesn't bother him. The wet floor patches don't bother him. He just wants to lie down and die, but he knows he can't. If he tries, he'll just wake up back home. Carefully placing the blanket on the cold, steel floor of the minivan, he lies down on top of it. It's not enough to keep him from feeling cold. He needs something more. Something beyond blankets and winter coats. Hope. Shivering, he falls asleep.

* * *

"So **that's** where you were!"

He raises his head. It's Kyle, practically shedding tears of joy. He lowers it again.

"Everyone's been worried about you! Nobody's seen you in days."

He sobs loudly. Kyle approaches him and sits down next to him.

"What's wrong?"

He says nobody cares about him. Nobody notices him. Nobody sees him. Even his so-called friends abandon him. He's invisible.

"What? When?"

He speaks of the amusement park. Kyle chuckles. He frowns.

"That's not what happened. Stan wasn't feeling well, so we took him to the bathroom. We thought it'd be easier if we all searched together for one. They wanted to tell you you we were taking him, but you were so happy with the bumper cars and there was such a big line, I didn't think it was fair to force you to come with us. I know how much you love bumper cars... I thought we'd be back before you knew it, but you were just... gone. The guy at the reception said you'd left when it was your – **our** – turn. I tried calling you, but all I got was your voicemail."

Softly, with a hint of sullen amusement, he explains his phone's been turned off, because his parents couldn't afford it any more.

"Why did you run here anyway? There's gotta be better places to hide out for a few days."

He says he ran to the place where he belonged, with every other undesired, worthless thing in South Park. Kyle hugs him.

"...You're not undesired. When you disappeared, the entire town started looking for you. Speaking of which, we should get going. Your parents are worried about you."

Kyle gets up, but he doesn't. Kyle stares at him expectantly.

"I'm not leaving until you do."

He says he doesn't want to leave. He says he feels unloved in a town where nobody pays attention to him. A town where he's invisible. Kyle sits back down next to him.

"...Then I'm staying with you. Because you're **not** invisible, and you're **not** undesired. You **do** matter. You matter to me, you matter to Stan, you matter to your sister, your brother, your mom, your dad... You matter to everyone."

Kyle hugs him again. He shivers.

"Are you cold? Here."

Kyle takes off the trademark orange jacket and puts it on him. He's used to the cold, but he takes it anyway. His shivering stops. Kyle smiles.

"I hope you haven't been sleeping out here. It's gotta be freezing at night."

He says it's where he belongs.

"No. You belong with **us**. With your **friends** and **family**. Do you have any idea what's going on in South Park right now?"

He shakes his head.

"The cops are tearing apart every inch of South Park, looking for you. Your mom and dad are searching in your room for any clue that might lead them to you, the guys at school are looking everywhere they know you like to hang out. Hell, even Cartman's helping out. He complains a lot, but nobody forced him to do it. He just showed up and started searching near the City Wok. I thought it was just to get free food, but... he's really just looking for you."

He doesn't believe Kyle's story. He says his family ignores him the same as everyone else, and most of the boys at school were hardly what he considers friends. Cartman is no different.

"...Look, I know we're not perfect. Our town isn't perfect. We fight each other, we say stupid shit, but we **always** band together when it really matters; **always**. This time, we did it for **you**. Because **you** disappeared, the whole town is being turned upside down and inside out."

He starts to believe Kyle's words.

"We do care about you, even if it doesn't always seem like it."

He sighs. He says even if Kyle is telling the truth, it doesn't matter. If he goes back, he'll just be invisible again. He says he'd rather stay away. Kyle frowns.

"Even if you think everyone else ignores you, how can you say that about us? Stan, Cartman, and I – we're always there for you, just like we're there for each other."

He refers to the amusement park once again; how he was ignored when Cartman interrupted the conversation between him and Kyle.

"I didn't turn away from **you** ; I was pissed at **him**. I told him to keep his fat mouth shut, and then I turned to you again and you had your head down... I thought... I thought it was better to take you to the amusement park. I thought it'd keep your mind off of things; cheer you up."

He asks if Kyle wasn't paying for everyone's trip. Kyle mumbles for a bit before answering.

"No... Just yours. I knew you'd never accept if I didn't trick you into thinking everyone was being treated equally."

He asks why Kyle tricked him.

"...Because you deserve it. We take many things for granted, and it's easy forget you don't have the same things we do. But you still do your best, for your family, and your friends... for everyone in South Park. You **deserve** to have someone look after **you** for a change. You **deserve** to catch a break. You **deserve**... you deserve to be happy. Maybe more than anyone I've ever met."

Kyle's speech brings tears to his eyes. He sobs. Kyle holds him tight, also sobbing.

"This world isn't perfect, but you make it a little better just by being in it. Believe me, that's a rare gift."

Kyle wipes away a few tears.

"...I know I wouldn't get through most days if I didn't get to see you. If you were gone... I don't know what I'd do."

He jokingly replies Kyle would crash and burn without him. Kyle nods. Kyle doesn't think it's a joke.

"...Will you please come back home with me? You don't belong here, with all this **crap**. You belong with **us** , the people who love you."

He asks if Kyle loves him. There's no hesitation, and his voice is toneless. Kyle wants to say yes, but Kyle also quickly realizes he's not talking about platonic love. Kyle carefully ponders the possible answers – the truth, a lie, or a half-truth? Kyle decides the truth is best. Kyle doesn't want to deceive him.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't... care about you, but... I'm not sure I'd go that far."

He frowns. He's about to burst into depressed tears.

"...Maybe... when you come back home... we can go to that amusement park again. Just the two of us... and see where we go from there. Would you like that, Kenny?"  
"...I'd love to."

Kyle gets up again. Kenny takes Kyle's hand and gets up as well. He's not invisible any more.


End file.
